Tag Archives: depression

Hiatus from University …

Although the year is almost up, I have taken a step back from university, mostly due to depression and medical reasons.

I have been stuck in a rut for the past 2 years, and it is getting worse. Not being able to do my work is frustrating beyond belief, I can honestly say I have done nothing university related this year. Determination to succeed is the only thing keeping me on this track. I have goals, ambition that I need to do, it is just going to take me a bit longer than I originally thought.

So even though I am not finishing this year, I will pick up where I started and I will fight through everything in my own time. I will start posting again, maybe daily photos-simple things from around me, mostly phone photos, perhaps even a few things I am working on or older photos I haven’t shared yet to try and get my brain back into photography.

I hope everyone is well, I am not entirely sure about this post, but it is something that I wanted to say. Fingers crossed I will help myself back on the right path.

Ruby Blackthorn

Final Images: Still Life

I find shrinking down possible finals sometimes a little difficult. If you take alot of photographs and there are a bulk that stand out, how do you choose which are the best? For me I have to print them out, blue tac them to a wall and sometimes a pair of fresh eyes can help. On more than one occasion I have had the photographs up on the walls for a few days uming and ahing which ones to have as finals.

I have whittled down 4 of my favourite finals for the narrative project.










In the end I think this project has done a loop around and reflects upon myself, although many others can relate to it. I was hoping to make this generalised, rather than personal. Even still I am pleased with how the photographs have turned out.

Sex is a reflection upon myself and my fiancee and our relationship.

Reading reflects upon my love for reading. In the words of C.S. Lewis “You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.

Medication reflects upon being on  anti-depressants, the emotions and struggles.

Death,¬†this can be viewed in a number of different ways. From my perspective it symbolised what the medication has done to me. I feel almost dead inside, in some respects it is nice, in others it is terrifying. Another way to look at it is my innate fear of death, which has only grown worse in the past few years. I am not so much scared of my own death, more those’s that I love around me and how I do not deal well with it.

2 positives and 2 negatives, a symbolism of what it is like inside my brain, even though there are equal amounts of both for me, the negatives out way the positives.

But how does the bed roll into this? For the past 2-3 years it has been a daily struggle to get out of bed, to be honest it has been a struggle to complete this unit. My bed is both my safe place and my prison, once again a positive and a negative. The bed, unlike the video, is not the main focal point. I wanted to take a step back from the bed, however still have it within the photographs. All of the finals subjects are things that we or I do on a bed. But I wanted the objects themselves to take the main focal point.

This my narrative …